In 2023, you can’t remove Songs of Innocence from U2 without contacting Apple Support online. Are you like Constance? Want to remove Songs of Innocence from your iTunes account? The streets may have no name, but hope does - it’s called the Genius Bar. I stand up from my stool and move on to the next customer of the day, ready to bring more justice to the world and rid my customers of their torment. Although, now that she knew the source of her nightmares was nothing but a mediocre album, she could sleep easy at last. Unfortunately for Constance, the only way to remove U2’s 13th studio album was by contacting Apple Support online. Bono joined Tim Cook on stage in Cupertino, and the album was released exclusively to all iTunes Store customers later that day, with Cook calling the album “the largest album release of all time.” Songs of Innocence was infamously given to all Apple customers for free after the unveiling of the iPhone 6 and Apple Watch. She’d been hit with the unwanted smut of U2’s Songs of Innocence album, forced down the proverbial throat of anyone daring to have an iTunes account. “Constance,” I say, “I’ve found what you were looking for.”Ĭonstance’s iPhone is full of shocking stuff, and she wasn’t the person putting it there. I gasp, I’ve had a flashback to a horrible nightmare… I take the SE and, surprised, see the Music app open it’s empty (Constance looks more like the gramophone type than a spatial audio streamer), apart from a single album square.Ī black and white photo of a man standing topless, with another topless person hugging their waist, hits my eyes. I’ve seen some weird stuff on customers’ devices, but even then, I wasn’t prepared for the grotesque imagery about to appear. She opens something on her device, shields her eyes, and pushes her iPhone SE (not the modern one based on the iPhone 8, but the old SE rocking that iPhone 5 look) across the table as if to say, “Deal with this, I can’t take it anymore.” “I’m the right person for this job, but I need you to show me these awful images,” I say, nodding so she knows I don’t take my job lightly and that these pesky trolls will face the reckoning they deserve.Ĭonstance unlocks her iPhone SE, the wallpaper a poorly framed selfie that looks like she’s accidentally taken it while trying to unlock her device. I would get to the root of the issue and bring harmony back to her world for good. In all my years working for Apple, there were a few people that I vowed not to let down, that I vowed to save from the depths of despair, and let me tell you, Constance was one of them. She looks at me with the weight of the world in her eyes, “Please, dear, you’re my last hope.” “I don’t want to describe what I see on my phone all the time, but there are disgusting images of naked bodies, and I think my iPhone has been hacked!” “Hello dear, I’m hoping you can help me because I don’t know what to do anymore.” “Constance,” I say, strolling over with a superhero swagger to a small-framed woman in her late 70s or early 80s sitting uncomfortably on a stool built for style over spinal support. (Image credit: Astrid Stawiarz / Getty Images)
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |